Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Caowin's Note from the Writers


Recently I’ve received word that there is some speculation about why Y. S. Rice and I haven’t been updating the blog regularly in the last few months. And I’m sure you unintellectuals are filled with questions: What’s wrong? Are you guys being chased down by the government? Has one of you fell into the coma, forcing the other one to shoulder all writing responsibilities as well as actually work a real job too?

Some of you might even be wondering, “Who’s been doing all this speculation?” And that’s a pretty self-reflexive, postmodern question. “No, seriously,” you might say, “no one reads your blog except for a few friends who know what you guys do at all times anyway because it’s on Facebook.”

So I feel like I owe you guys an explanation. You see, when a mommy cowriter and a daddy cowriter love each other very much, the daddy cowriter (in this case, yours truly) rams his opinion roughly and insensitively into the mommy cowriter’s (Y. S. Rice, of course) sense of sarcasm. At first, the mommy cowriter bleeds, but after a while, she realizes that the world is run by people just like Caowin and gives up hope. This is why they call it losing your innocence. This is how blogs are made.

Well, anyway, when writers get older, sometimes it gets harder for the daddy cowriter to get his dickishness up. Sometimes mommy is feeling too tired to actively hate Caowin, and all she wants to do is lie there and wait for Caowin to finish so she can roll over. Or sometimes she even closes her eyes and pretends she’s hating David Cameron instead.

I had a point to this. Oh yeah, what we’ve been doing.

Yeah. Well, Y. S. Rice and I have just been taking a break in our no homo co-writing relationship in order to work some things out. Just see it like that, kids. This doesn’t mean we don’t love you, and this is in no way your fault. We’ll work things out and get back into our writing schedule soon enough.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Caowin's Editorial on Joseph Kony 2012

Hey, unintellectuals. It's your humble servant Caowin here. How are you? That's good/bad/whatever. I'm feeling pretty inspired, thanks for asking.

Why am I so inspired? Well I just saw the Kony 2012 video, which is about (I think I'm supposed to avoid spoiling what the video is actually about, but the thing is twenty-seven minutes long, so I'll spare you the torture of having to watch it) this dude named Joseph Kony (who doesn't come up until 8:46) who apparently is a bad man.

Now, if you're anything like me, you're thinking, "So what? There's lots of bad people on this earth." And if you're anything like Y. S. Rice, you're also thinking, "Yeah, like David, James and Kirk Cameron!"

But this Kony guy is like, especially bad. Like, worse than all three Camerons combined. You see, as the filmmaker explains around 10:05, Joseph Kony "has, um, an army, okay? And what he does is he takes children from their parents, and he gives them a gun, to shoot, and he makes them shoot and kill other people...they don't want to do what he says, but he forces them to do bad things."

And right now, you're probably thinking, "Hehe, 'he forces them to do bad things' sounds sexual. But in all seriousness, I guess that this Joseph Kony guy is like bad and stuff. So I guess the question is, 'Why do I care?'"

Well, for starters, at about 10:35 an adorable little blonde kid said that it made him "sad." There was also Jacob, who had a little panic attack around minute 5 (I don't really remember; I was busy writing an article about why I didn't care.)

But other than that, it really doesn't affect you. The author even admitted at 14:02, "our national security and financial interests are not at stake." I mean, it takes place all the way in Africa. And all the people involved seem...well, you know... I'm not saying I don't care about black people, but, you know, shmi shmon't shmare shmabout shmack smeople.
Something about this is easy to be apathetic about.
But despite all this, I found the tale of how one man fought to spread his message inspiring because I, too, am a man fighting to spread a message: that's what my Handi-Incapable campaign is all about. It is this spirit of inspiration that got me to finally finish my brochure.

Remember, everything you do to bring awareness to Impairment Dishonesty helps. Print out the brochure here and give it to your friends. Post a link to http://publicunintellectuals.blogspot.com/search/label/Handi-Incapable on your favorite social media site. Just point out cripples wherever you see them. And I'll do my part too. I'll start posting semi-regularly on stuff relevant to this campaign. Maybe like every Wednesday. I've got nothing better to do.

Well then it's settled! Now go out, spread the good word.