Monday, February 13, 2012

Caowin's Editorial on Potato-Looking People

Hey guys! Caowin here, continuing his Handi-Incapable campaign. About a week ago, I saw a handicapped man hiding his disability, and this angered me greatly – so much that I had no choice but to launch a politically incorrect campaign to get the disabled to act more, you know, disabled.

First, I just want to thank Y. S. Rice for supporting this new campaign of mine, calling it “non-dickish,” which is a HUGE deal for him. Second off, I would like to announce that I plan on having brochures that you guys at home can print out. They will of course be discussing the ways the handi-incapable trick us into thinking they’re normal people, just like anyone else.

But most importantly, I want to talk about a Disabled-American who isn’t afraid to show off his inferiority. You see, I was about to watch Phantom Menace 3D with my aunt, uncle, and cousins, who are 7 and 5 years old. This is not at all because I am a pedophile, but is rather related to the fact that my aunt offered to take me for free, and since I am Jewish…

But enough about my flaws. So as I was sitting, waiting for the movie to start, I see what looks like an enormous potato being carted around in a wheelchair. I ignored it at first, but as it approached me, I noticed that it was not some sort of oversized tuberous crop but was in fact a humanoid creature, with an awkwardly shaped head, no neck, a fat body, and tiny, weak arms and legs. It looked sort of like this.

But more spudlike.
On behalf of this entire campaign, I want to give him my highest praises. This was not one of the ability-pretenders. He understood that no one is ever going to think of him as an equal, so why try? He truly was Handi-Incapable. Anyway, that's all for now. I promise, I'll have those brochures on this website soon, so you can alienate all your friends.

1 comment:

  1. You have officially forayed back into 'being-a-dick'-land. Well done! You must feel very at home.