First, I just want to thank Y. S. Rice for supporting this new campaign of mine, calling it “non-dickish,” which is a HUGE deal for him. Second off, I would like to announce that I plan on having brochures that you guys at home can print out. They will of course be discussing the ways the handi-incapable trick us into thinking they’re normal people, just like anyone else.
But most importantly, I want to talk about a Disabled-American who isn’t afraid to show off his inferiority. You see, I was about to watch Phantom Menace 3D with my aunt, uncle, and cousins, who are 7 and 5 years old. This is not at all because I am a pedophile, but is rather related to the fact that my aunt offered to take me for free, and since I am Jewish…
But enough about my flaws. So as I was sitting, waiting for the movie to start, I see what looks like an enormous potato being carted around in a wheelchair. I ignored it at first, but as it approached me, I noticed that it was not some sort of oversized tuberous crop but was in fact a humanoid creature, with an awkwardly shaped head, no neck, a fat body, and tiny, weak arms and legs. It looked sort of like this.
|But more spudlike.|
On behalf of this entire campaign, I want to give him my highest praises. This was not one of the ability-pretenders. He understood that no one is ever going to think of him as an equal, so why try? He truly was Handi-Incapable. Anyway, that's all for now. I promise, I'll have those brochures on this website soon, so you can alienate all your friends.