Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Work: A Dialogue

Hello all,

Y. S. Rice here again. Apparently, or so my 'boss' tells me, I should take my writing here a bit more seriously. The conversation went something like this:

YSR: I should be more serious? I thought you hated how serious I was.
Boss: Hahaha! Of course I do! We all do. Society does.
YSR: So why do you want me to be more serious?
Boss: No, no, no... The board members don't want you to be more serious. They want you to take your job more seriously. 
YSR: Holy Hell. I have a job?
Boss: ...
YSR: Oh... You think that I think of this as my job, don't you?
Boss: You refer to me as your boss.
YSR: I can change that if you want.
Mook: That's not what I meant. We pay you, and in return we just ask that you write for us a bit more regularly.
YSR: You pay me in pretzels and stock options.
Mook: Hey, you eat food, right? So that's valuable. And stock options sure can make you unexpectedly wealthy.
YSR: What's our current net value?
Mook: Well, it's only been a few months, and we're still on a free blog and... 
YSR: You're right, I don't care. What's the value of my stock?
Mook: Well... About $13.90
YSR: So, I've worked for nearly six months and still haven't earned enough to buy a decent quantity of re-writable DVDs?
Mook: Point is, you're fired if you don't write something soon. 
YSR: Sad face. 
Mook: And no referring to me as a mook.
YSR: Genuine sad face.
Boss: That's more like it.

So, I'm gonna go ahead and write something sometime maybe. I, personally, am impressed by that level of commitment. I'll pull something brilliant out of my arse as soon as I finish my HTML coding project.

Boss: You're going to write something now. Caowin's way ahead of you in the volume of material he's put out.
YSR: But he's a bigoted moron!
Boss: We like him more. As I say, society also prefers him. He's brief and simple and funny. Give us something punchy, different, and personal. Oh, and no computers.
YSR: Can I talk about some of my favourite mathematical proofs then?
Boss: Go f*ck yourself.

I assume that's a resounding 'no'. Okay, so I'll write something for tomorrow, here and now.

To be Continued...

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