Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Caowin Gives Up

Now, I know that the vast majority of my readers gets all their news from me. I also know that a lot has happened in the news since I last informed you. Romney won New Hampshire with a landslide, a bomb killed an Iranian nuclear physicist, the new Spock came out as gay.

But I was thinking the other day, and talking about newsy things isn't particularly unintellectual. In fact, some would argue that it's almost like the definition of "intellectual," and if there's two words that scare me they're "intellectual" and "definition."

Now, some of you may be wondering, "Then why did you start doing all those intellectual things in the first place?" Well, it started when Yair told me to do that Top of the News article. And then I saw Mitty Witty, and I fell in love, and I was carried away by the throws of passion. But now I'm starting to realize that my love for Mitty Witty isn't what's best for me. He means a lot to me, but if loving Governor Romneykins means sacrificing my unintellectuality, then it's not worth it.

Of course, my cowriter is going to respond with, "You've done plenty of unintellectual things with your Mitt Romney articles!" [Editor's note - Y. S. Rice: You have done plenty of unintellectual things with all of your articles. Don't mistake that as praise.] But what was unintellectual about those articles? That they featured Mitt Romney in various provocative poses. But google has taken down those pictures, replacing them with giant exclamation points which would fool only the very naive into thinking it was a picture of Romney's penis.

Phallic, yes, but NOT WHAT THE AUTHOR INTENDED
So I'll be taking some much-needed me time in order to figure out where I am in my life and where I want to go, and also why Google would take down my vaguely homosexual pictures of Mitt Romney.

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